Izdihar - Magic Kingdom Escapology

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. So I finished my pint and then noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod...

I don't often set out to criticise software applications, but in IE6's case, I'm willing to make an exception. Like many others around the world, it is the default browser in the company I work for - what a piece of garbage! Whilst the company web filtration software is arguably more of a direct impact on my 'research' activities, I cannot fault it's ability to do its job exactly 'as it says on the tin'. IE6 is a far more insidious piece of junk. For the most part it will display the web page you are looking for, but then there will be that piece of text that is now mysteriously left justified instead of centred, the comment field that is listed but not actually displayed, or the complete lack of the ability to spell check what you are entering when said comment field does actually appear. Its ability completely distract you from the task in hand must be almost unparalled - please would all the organisations still firmly clamped (like a buldog to a postman's leg) to this junk, have a rethink and then as painful as it might be, get rid of it? To what I don't care, IE7, IE8, Opera, Firefox, Chrome, anything but this. I implore you for the sake of browsing folk everywhere, please do the right thing...

As a start point towards beginning to create a fully specified Roland Boss DR-880 .ins file for Cakewalk Sonar, I've created an Excel spreadsheet containing the preset data from the DR-880 manual - this has taken a good few hours of my time and is supplied here without any form of warranty that it is 100% accurate or of any use to anyone, but I can personally promise that it's damned close! If you want to download a copy, then you may feel free, but this little exercise is far from complete and the next step is to try and map all of the instrument and bass tones across to the kits (6,100 mappings by my reckoning), and in doing so ensuring that the appropriate midi note numbers are assigned to them. On the off chance that I go completely mad, I may even try to map out the various settings of each instrument in each kit, but that's only if I can work out whether that has any form of usable value to it. Anyway, here's the file and feel free to let me know if you spot any errors along the way.

File Can Now Be Found Here

PS. This is not getting me any further practice with the guitar

For a long time now, I've always gone by the adage that one should use your mouth and ears in the proportion that they are provided. Generally speaking this seems to have served me well, I get to learn things, I don't purposely put my foot in it by saying the wrong thing, I don't have a love affair with the sound of my own voice. It does though have some disadvantages, people do perhaps think I'm too quiet and as a result, I have a sneaking suspicion that opportunities that should perhaps arise for me, arise for other people instead (I have also discovered that smoking does you no harm in the career stakes either, but that's a whole other issue).

In an idle moment this evening, I also wondered whether this principle translates into internet use also. To anyone who visits here regularly, it will be readily apparent that I don't post all that often on here - kind of odd when I could reasonably be described as something of an internet addict - I do though read avidly, but probably not as widely as I should. As I look around though there are plenty of people who, it would seem, cannot shut up (metaphorically speaking). It's not as if I can't write or understand the tools available, I just feel somehow inhibited by some inner working that says "keep your thoughts to yourself". It may be some form of self-protection mechanism, after all, there are rather a lot of people I know in both a work and social setting, who are perfectly well aware of this domain, who owns it and in a good few cases how I came to acquire it (nothing dodgy in that though). Given that blogging forms no natural adjunct to me making a living, what then do I write that allows me to express myself in a way that isn't in some way misinterpreted or viewed with suspicion?

The answer currently appears to be very little of any significance, save numerous references to my assorted hobbies, the occasional travelogue and generally inadequately informed comments on world affairs as and when my gaze is attracted to them. Whether anyone learns a great deal about the inner workings of 'Planet Me' in the process is likely to be purely coincidental and you may be wondering (and to misquote the late great Douglas Adams) "This Chris of Arabia... ...what is he, man or mouse? Is he interested in nothing more than tea and the wider issues of life? Has he no spirit? Has he no passion? Does he not, to put it in a nutshell, fuck?"

Now I'm not likely to answer that question in its literal sense, but using a more general interpretation, then the answer is a very firm "yes". There is a place on Planet Me for the usual panoply of human emotion and experience that goes beyond what you will have divined so far, or at least from these pages. What makes me tick though, and what I should report here remains an open question. Let's for the moment say that there are sufficient matters orbiting 'Me' that would, I'm sure, make interesting reading to those who inhabit a different cultural enclave. Maybe one day, these will be something I will feel more readily disposed towards sharing.

For now then...

[EDIT] Fundamental flaw in the title and early part of this post corrected...

Since this shot was taken on 30 April 2009, I have been informed that Al Dodds (above) has sadly died following a coronary incident at work. He died on 19 July 2009 before they could get him to the hospital for treatment. He leaves a wife behind, who has been provided with a hi-res copy of the picture above, a print of which will be placed on the coffin at Al's funeral. I'm told that his wife has said that this is "an incredible shot that captured his fun loving nature". Rest in Peace Al, and I'm sure we'll all be thinking of you when Salwa Rocks hits the stage again next year.