Izdihar - Magic Kingdom Escapology

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I got an email about 15 minutes ago. Nothing unusual you'd think in that, especially as it was from a company whose products I'm already something of a repeat customer for. It's a food product in case you're wondering, a food product that is very seasonal and has a wide variety of regional differences - something about the soil and climate and altitude and stuff. Whatever, this means their range is extensive, if identically packed to fit their purpose built appliance. This is niche stuff in their product area, and the customer is expected to buy into the whole lifestyle image that goes with it - very middle class and aspirational you know.

So the new email arrives, black background, pale typography, image centralised and fading into a tastefully lit set containing the new seasonal range; it's Christmas after all. All looks cool and I was forced to hit Twitter instantly and record the moment for posterity. There was one shortfall I noticed instantly though, clearly missing was the link to an artfully directed video of their prominent endorsing celebrity - a Thespian of some note if you like medical drama series. Not quite my bag I'd say, as once you've seen one case of necrotising fasciitis cured, you've seen them all right?

Post Tweet, I went back for another look to get the low down gory on it all. I was shocked and stunned I'll tell you at what I saw. Could this be the same brand that had got me hooked a couple of years back? I've even transported their design icon status appliance across borders - no longer do I need to dream of trips back to my native abode for a fix of their elixir like comestible, then cold turkey on 3 or more months in the Middle East to be cured a la Priory [you're never really cured, you're only ever in remission] of my addiction. The cause of my anguish was a flavour mash-up the like of which has not seen since King Alfred landed baking duties on the chore roster.

Now my product is a staple good. Markets rise and fall on news of the annual harvest, so you can assume that 'The Product', if I may call it that, is a well known quantity, not something to lightly toy with a customer's affection over, certainly not mine. One may then wonder what it is they've done that has so shaken my faith in their ability to deliver into their carefully targeted niche. New flavours is what it is they've done, but we are talking about no ordinary flavours here. No they have gone for an especially seasonal slant with their 'new' flavours, redolent of Santa and his merry elves no doubt, just the things to liven up an evening affront the log fire. Here though is where the brand and I part company in our view over the latest incarnation of The Product. I just don't think they mix... well... at all... frankly. AM had the bright idea of some form of dessert based on the combination - I think she's just hit the copious recipe books about the villa, focused on the idea that the combination of flavours could just work - I remain sceptical, if hugely impressed by the unusual display of optimism that is currently bouncing around the kitchen.

For me, I'll pass. Maybe just go with a robust and smooth espresso next time - you may just have a winner on your hands

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Or at least that's what I'm told...

It's now December and I hear tell that some have already completed their Christmas shopping and worse, some have all their presents wrapped. I am not of that ilk I'm afraid, but the time of year has at least dawned on me and I'm beginning to think I ought to take a modicum of interest in meeting expectations. Given where AM and I live for the larger part of our lives, it's perhaps not surprising that Christmas (there, I've said it now) doesn't have quite the same effect on my psyche as it would back in the UK, where the shops, towns and pubs are decorated to the hilt, in an effort to get people to crack their rather strained wallets and purses out - I'm afraid that a supermarket stacked to the rafters with dates doesn't quite cut it in the same way.

The real trick to Christmas is knowing how to satisfy friends and family with a gift, preferably in the simplest manner and shortest time possible - managed that once when a trip up to the Lakes found a fleece for (almost) everyone. You don't want to under do it - a bulk pack of gift vouchers for example - but then again, you find that as people get older, they do become rather more tricky to buy for. Oft times, getting them what they 'really' want would require a Getty style bankroll with a Hefner sized sack to carry it all back in. So what to do then?

The standard approach is to ask "What would you like for Christmas this year?". They inevitably answer much like myself along the lines of "I don't know" - chances are that they don't actually care that much either. In many eyes, I suspect Christmas is something of a chore to be tolerated at best. It gets a little more entertaining where there are small children involved, but I couldn't eat a whole one myself you understand. Where you do get a suggestion, it's likely going to be for that old favourite, a pair of slippers*.

"But you had slippers last year..."

"I know, but they're worn out from being used round the garage"

Now I could be wrong, but that sounds awfully like I'm doing your annual running repairs. It doesn't sound very festive, much less exciting - please tell me that slippers are not exciting - and lastly it's hardly a surprise either.

The other thing you don't want to do is disappoint anyone. They know where I work, they know I'm doing reasonably well salary-wise and more so when so many others are struggling during the recession. I'd not want to appear to be a cheapskate, nor would I want to look too flash or showy - just wouldn't do.

So back to the question of what to buy for an assorted band of children between 2 and 9, and a set of adults from 29 to 97? I'd love to have another 'fleece' type spark of inspiration right about now, but it's not looking likely. Looks like I could be going back to an old standby and popping an orange and a sixpence into a stocking for everyone. I can't get them all an iPod Shuffle - can you see my Grandmother tackling a PC and iTunes to fill it up, much less getting out in her jogging gear to put it to its true purpose? No, me neither...

If anyone has any suggestions, now would be a good time to make yourself known, because I'm clueless, I really am...

* My Dad always has M&S slippers

You may notice that I've added a ShareThis feature/icon to each post. It clearly isn't sitting comfortably within the skin at the moment. I can only attribute this to my less than stellar HTML/CSS skills. I will get round to sorting it out over the next day or two, but in the meantime the feature does work, even if it does need a little attention.

OK, as you were...