Listen

With izdihar currently stuck in a holding pattern whilst I work on some stuff behind the scenes (should be good, I promise), I thought I'd give you something good to look and listen to whilst I'm getting things sorted. It's something that came on the iPod whilst out in the car this morning. I'd not really listened closely to the lyrics before, but a couple of lines caught my attention. If this is what infatuation sounds like, it's perhaps not such a bad thing...

Depeche Mode: In Your Room

A quick security update for you:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Note: Courtesy of one of those emails that get passed around

I suppose much of what blogging is about, is 'observation' - as one of my recent commenter's so astutely observed, it's the detail. This particular detail is a few days old now, but it has stuck with me and keeps playing across my mind.

Television round here is a fairly dull, piped in affair for the most part - 52 channels of fairly staid stuff. OK, so having the Premiership on live so many days a week is something I'd not have in the UK. The news channels though are limited to Sky News, BBC World and CNN, therefore nothing that is in any way out on a limb or massively thought provoking. And it is on the first of these that I found my detail.

For some reason, AM and I always seem to find ourselves watching this channel. I'm not sure whether that's because it's on channel 1 on the TV, whether it's because it looks glitzy compared with the others, but more likely that it's a better connection to home than the others. From a quality news reporting perspective though, it's bloody awful. The approach is easy to see, take any given subject, shake it like a terrier with a doll and then put it on the infinite repeat, but under no circumstances get to the core of the topic at hand, your audience wouldn't understand it - I have in the past, and probably will continue, to refer to it as 'Sun TV'.

In this instance, Sky themselves aren't really the point, it was an interview they ran with some UK government minister whose name escapes me. This was probably less than 24 hours after the Haiti earthquake struck and here in front of me was this minister explain what was being done to bring relief to the people of that country. It's something that should be celebrated that the UK, despite a recession to cope with, is able to muster the resources needed to tackle such a catastrophe and play its part in world affairs. I should have been able to feel that this was a positive thing I was watching, but came away feeling a distinct distaste for UK politics, as if that could be any worse than what's been witnessed in the last 12 months. What got me, was not the message, but the manner the message was delivered in - this guy was positively enjoying what he was doing! There was no sense of gravitas about it, just some guy who wanted to be seen to be delivering 'good news'. There was nothing about his manner that suggested he cared in any way, so what we got was a repetitive recital of numbers of rescue workers, sums of money and tonnes of equipment, all trotted out through an inane smirk. A government in trouble looking to put a positive spin on itself, ably assisted by a media channel that seems to see nothing more in a story than how best they can promote their own image. Wouldn't it have been nice to have posed the question "Minister, can you explain to our viewers why it is that you seem to be enjoying this..."

Non-Believers Giving Aid - Support for the Haiti Tragedy & Beyond

In an ideal world, this place would somehow probe the deeper meaning of something somewhere, but instead it continually rattles off the minutia of life; a trip here, a happening there, perhaps a snippet of life previously unreported. Did you know that they sell memory sticks in the shape of a penguin, ones with a cute little blue rubber scarf no less? I got one for Christmas you know.

You see what I mean?

Here is not really place for great revelations or world events. To engage with those might reveal more than I'm comfortable with, give a clue to what's inside, that inner seething mass.

So instead you must piece the puzzle together for yourself, but as yet I've not given you the corners and precious few of the bits of the sides. Do you see a picture at all? I think I lost the lid of the box some time back, the picture was faded and peeling anyway, so I'm not sure it would help you in any event. Maybe some lyrics would help here...

The Chamber Of 32 Doors

Artist: Genesis
Album: Lamb Lies Down on Broadway

At the top of the stairs, there's hundreds of people,
Running around to all the doors.
They try to find themselves an audience;
Their deductions need applause.

The rich man stands in front of me,
The poor man behind my back.
They believe they can control the game,
But the juggler holds another pack.

I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.

I'd rather trust a countryman than a townman,
You can judge by his eyes, take a look if you can,
Hell smile through his guard,
Survival trains hard.
I'd rather trust a man who works with his hands,
He looks at you once, you know he understands,
Don't need any shield,
When you're out in the field.

But down here,
I'm so alone with my fear,
With everything that I hear.
And every single door, that I've walked through
Brings me back here again,
I've got to find my own way.

The priest and the magician,
Singing all the chants that they have ever heard;
They're all calling out my name,
Even academics, searching printed word.

My father to the left of me,
My mother to the right,
Like everyone else they're pointing
But nowhere feels quite right.

And I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.

Id rather trust a man who doesn't shout what he's found,
There's no need to sell if you're homeward bound.
If I chose a side,
He wont take me for a ride.

Back inside
This chamber of so many doors;
I've nowhere to hide.
I'd give you all of my dreams, if you'd help me,
Find a door
That doesn't lead me back again take me away.

PS: For those who liked the cliffhanger at the end of the last post, you'll be pleased to know that the dead PC is now well again. Resurrected, Lazarus like, courtesy of a power supply replacement. Some small pride at having been able to diagnose and rectify the problem, a small part of my world that could be changed to the way I wished to see it, an opportunity to use long ago acquired skills, the sort that are never likely to become surplus to requirements.